How to stop nightmares that keep coming back.

First, you are not alone

Between four and ten in a hundred adults have nightmares at least once a week, and about four in a hundred have them often enough, and distressing enough, to count as nightmare disorder. Nightmares cluster in stressful stretches of life, after difficult events, and in the second half of the night, when REM sleep (the stage with the most vivid dreams) is longest.

The good news is that there is a well-studied, drug-free method that helps. It is called imagery rehearsal, and it is recommended by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine for nightmare disorder.

The method: imagery rehearsal

The idea is simple. A nightmare that keeps coming back is a little like a well-worn path. Imagery rehearsal lays down a new path while you are awake, so the dreaming brain has somewhere else to go.

1. Write down one nightmare. Choose a nightmare that comes back, ideally a milder one while you learn. A few lines are enough. You don’t need every detail.
2. Find where it turns. Mark the moment you would like to change: the point where the dream starts to go wrong. You never have to relive the whole thing.
3. Change it any way you like. Give it a new ending, bring in a helper, move it to a safe place, give yourself a power, or make it absurd. It does not need to be realistic. Add one detail you can see, hear or smell.
4. Rehearse the new version. Once a day, while awake, read the new version once, then close your eyes and live it in detail for about ten minutes. Keep going for at least a week.
5. Check in, then repeat. After a week or two, ask: does the nightmare come less often, or feel less intense? Then choose the next one.

Halfway down, my grandmother switches on a lamp. The stairs end in her warm kitchen. She is making tea and the radio is on.

That is a new ending for a dream of stairs that keep going down into the dark. It is small, specific and kind. Yours can be anything.

A calmer evening

A short, regular wind-down lowers arousal before sleep. It does not need to be long; it needs to be yours.

• Close the day early. Write down what is on your mind for two minutes, early in the evening and not in bed.
• Breathe out longer than in. In for four, out for six, for a minute or two. Long exhales slow the heart.
• Rehearse once more. A minute with your new ending before sleep.
• Keep the same rhythm. A regular bedtime and wake time helps more than a perfect routine.

If you wake at 3 a.m.

Have a plan before you need it, so there is nothing to decide in the dark.

• Remind yourself where you are: it was a dream, you are home, you are safe.
• Keep the light low and warm. Avoid bright, blue screens.
• Breathe slowly, with long exhales. A hand on your chest helps you feel the rhythm.
• Say the dream out loud or jot down a line, then put it aside for the morning.
• If you are still wide awake after about twenty minutes, get up, keep the light dim, do something quiet, and go back to bed when you feel sleepy.

This is exactly what Baku’s Nightlight does, a warm ember light on black, in one tap. It is free, forever. Try the breathing on our home page.

Things that can make nightmares worse

• Alcohol in the evening. It suppresses REM sleep early in the night, which then rebounds later, often with more intense dreams.
• Short or irregular sleep. Sleep loss makes REM sleep more intense when it comes.
• Stress. Dreams borrow feelings from the day, and often from about a week ago.
• Some medications. Starting or stopping some medicines can change dreams. Talk to your doctor before changing anything.

When to see a professional

Please talk to a doctor or therapist if any of these are true:

• Your nightmares are linked to a traumatic event, or come with flashbacks during the day.
• You are afraid to go to sleep, or your nightmares affect your days, work or relationships.
• You often act out dreams, shout or move violently in your sleep, or someone notices you stop breathing.
• You have nightmares together with thoughts of harming yourself. Please reach out today, using the lines above.

For nightmares tied to trauma, therapies such as CBT for PTSD, EMDR and exposure, relaxation and rescripting therapy are recommended, with a trained professional. Imagery rehearsal can be part of that work.

Questions